Can You See Me Now? Read online



  Can You See Me Now?

  Written by Marisa Quinn-Haisu

  Cover design by Kayley Freshman-Caffrey

  Copyright 2014 Marisa Quinn-Haisu

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  I don’t know what it was that woke me up that night. I’ve always found it very startling to go from being in a deep sleep to being woken up without warning. To me it feels like being underwater one moment and then being forcefully pulled up for air the next. You sit up in bed gasping for breath and clutching at your chest.

  I can’t explain how I knew someone was in my house that night. All I can say is that I woke up with this knowledge that something was wrong. I could feel it in the air. It was like a disturbance or an unfamiliar presence. I immediately felt paralysed. I tried to focus on my breathing but all I could do make was a wheezing sound. I was so frightened my chest felt like it was filled with bits of broken glass.

  The clock on my wall loudly announced each passing second with a suspenseful tick, tick, tick. I swung my legs over the side of the bed and felt the familiar prickle of carpet beneath my bare feet. I grabbed a cricket bat and crept toward the bedroom door. I stepped out into the hall and stopped to listen to the sounds of the house.

  All was quiet, normal and then - CRASH. I heard some glass break. The noise had come from downstairs. I let myself into my daughter’s room and went straight to her bed.

  I threw the bat to one side and grabbed her shoulders. Jessica mumbled something. I shook her again. She lifted her head off her pillow. "Dad?"

  I took her hands in mine and communicated my concerns.

  I heard her moan in fright. "I'm scared,” she said. I gestured in the direction I knew her cupboard was in. "You want me to hide?" I could hear reluctance in her voice. I nodded yes. Jessica flung herself into my arms and pressed her face against the side of my neck. "No, no, no, no I want to stay with you!" I could feel her tears wetting my cheek.

  I shook my head in disagreement and pointed to the cupboard again. Jessica untangled herself from me and shook her head. "No, daddy, please..." I thrust a teddy bear into her arms and herded her toward the cupboard. I opened it and thrust her inside. "No!" I felt her hands claw at my shirt front. "Don't go! Please!" I pushed her inside and slammed the door shut. I picked up the bat and left the room. I put a trembling hand on the stair rail.

  Just what was I planning on doing if there was an intruder in the house? Was I really going to try and fight them? Wouldn’t it be better if I just locked myself and Jessica in a room and got her to call the police? I could hear myself breathing hard.

  No, I decided. I was not going to hide. Oh, I know I'm being stupid. I'm blind and mute. I should be upstairs with Jessica. I know that. I do. I guess I'm just a crazy bastard. I was halfway down the stairs now. I could feel myself shaking. Someone or something was down here. I got to the bottom of the staircase and my foot connected with something large and unmoving that had been left for me to find.

  The bat flew out of my hands and I hit the floor hard. I rolled onto my stomach and got onto my hands and knees. I patted the area around me and felt - oh, god, Lucy, no! I pulled my dog onto my lap and shook her desperately but it was as if I was holding a broken toy. Who would do this? Who would kill an innocent dog? I pushed Lucy off my lap, brushed away tears, and felt around for the bat. I pulled it close to me. I heard a noise. I pressed my back against the front door and surveyed my surroundings with my sightless eyes. A floorboard creaked. I pushed myself up onto one knee. I put a hand against the door to steady myself. Jessica, Jessica, Jessica, I chanted in my head.

  “Hello,” chirped an unfamiliar voice. I heard a light click on. “Am I in number twenty two Rosebud Lane?” The couch springs groaned. “Are you the owner of the house? I’m sorry about your dog but she barked at me.” I could hear her coming closer. It sounded like she was wearing heels. “I couldn’t have that.” A well-manicured hand grabbed the front of my shirt and lifted me off my feet shocking me into dropping the bat. Good God! Her strength! “I have some questions for you.”

  I kicked her in the knees. She responded with a laugh and then slapped me across the face. “Now, now, none of that. We’re talking.” She put her face close to mine. “Are you Ryan Walker?” There was something menacing in the way she said my name. “Is your daughter named Jessica? You’re a single father, aren’t you? What happened to Jessica’s mother? She left you, didn’t she? I bet it was sudden. No note, nothing. It must’ve been painful for you.”

  I felt her cold palm touch my cheek. “Speak up, sweetie.” Somewhere in the house a clock ticked loudly. A sound of disgust curdled in her throat. “You can’t can you?” She gripped my chin with two fingers. “Can you even see me?”

  The truth showed itself in the expression on my face. “Ugh!” She picked me up one handed and threw me on top of a coffee table. It caved in under my weight and I hit the floor on top of broken glass. “You are broken! You are weak! You are a pathetic bag of meat and bones that your mother should have eaten rather than let live. Why would my daughter let you share her bed?” Wait, I thought. You’re Jessica’s grandmother? Two hands seized the front of my shirt and lifted me off the floor. “What name did she give you?”

  Ash. She told me her name was Ash.

  “Whatever it was it wouldn’t have been her real one. She has hundreds of different names and she has had hundreds of different lovers. You meant nothing to her, Ryan. You were just a distraction. A play thing. A toy. How long did she stay with you for? A year? Two?”

  I blinked back tears.

  “She gets bored, Ryan. She does this all the time. She can’t stay in one place for too long because she knows I will find her. She won’t come home and marry a man who is her equal. She came down to this awful realm decades ago and has been on the run from me ever since.”

  Wait, decades? How old is Ash?

  “She doesn’t care for children. She does all of this to anger me. She knows how much I value our bloodline. She is deliberately thinning it down. I can’t let her bastards live and she knows it. While I deal with her mistakes she has time to disappear again.”

  I felt the acid burn of vomit rise into the back of my mouth.

  “I’ve come for my granddaughter, Ryan.”

  I closed my fingers around a long piece of glass and brought it up like a knife. I got her in the arm and stabbed deep. She grunted and let me drop to the floor. I ran toward the stairs and positioned myself in front of them. Run, Jessie, Run! Go out the window and jump to the ground! Don’t come back do you hear me? Get out of here! Go!

  I heard running footsteps. A pair of hands wrapped themselves around my throat and started to squeeze. Daddy! I heard inside my head. I won’t leave you!

  Please. I could taste my own tears. Don’t argue with me about this darling. Run away from here. You only have a couple of seconds. Run as fast as you can. Don’t look back.

  NO! YOU ARE MY FATHER AND I WILL NOT LEAVE YOU HERE TO DIE!

  What…what are you….? I could feel something moving through me. It was Jessica. Her strength. Her consciousness. Her power. Her light. I opened my eyes and saw specks. The particles moved into the centre of my field of vision and grouped together becoming a single dot. It widened, letting in light, which struck me like a thousand needles being pushed into my eyeballs. My brain screamed in protest.

  I clenched my eyes shut to try and block out the light but it shone through my eyelids. Jessica are
you doing this?  Have you leant me your sight? 

  Jessica ignored me. All of her rage and attention was on her grandmother. My arms came up on their own and pushed Ash’s mother off me with the strength of ten men. She hit the far wall and then dropped to the floor. A shower of plaster flakes rained on her head. Jessica got me onto my feet. I had become her puppet. Her grandmother looked up at me. The corners of her mouth tipped upward. "Hello, child. I see you in there." She got up off the floor and dusted herself off. "I am your grandmother."

  "I don't care," said Jessica through me. I was speaking. Words were actually coming out of my mouth. "I want you to leave this house and never return."

  A car drove past the front of the house. Its headlights shone in through a window and cast a shadow across her grandmother's face.

  "I cannot do that. You are a half-breed. Your very existence is offensive to me. I cannot allow you to pass on your genes. Our family line is a sacred and ancient one. Your mother polluted it when she gave birth to you. Your blood is impure."

  Jessica stretched my mouth into a wide smile. "Fuck you, lady. Do you think I care what you think of me? I'm sorry, but I don't. You're a stranger to me. Do you think calling me all those names is going to upset me? What do you want me to do? Apologise for being born? It's not going to happen. I deserve to exist. I don't care about what happened between my parents. It doesn't matter. I'm here now and I'm not going anywhere. Do not contact me or my father again. He didn't ask to be left with a child like me. I won't let you hurt him."

  An unnatural wind kicked up inside the room with an eerie howl and made the house begin to shake; framed pictures slipped off wall hooks and hit the floor, books toppled off shelves and I heard something smash in the kitchen. The noise continued for a couple of minutes and then abruptly silenced resulting in a stillness that made every hair on the back of my neck stand on end.

  Jessica's grandmother watched us with eyes that seemed unnaturally bright to me. There was something calculating in her gaze. Her expression told me she was debating something. Minutes ticked past. I watched her curl her long, thin fingers into fists.

  “You have courage, little girl. No one has ever spoken to me like that before.” She made a hissing sound that might have been laughter. “I think I like you, Jessica. None of the others stood up to me like that. You are…different." She pointed at me. "Run away and take your worthless meat sack of a father with you. I am giving you one chance to escape from me.”

  She held up a finger. “One. If I ever sense your presence again I will not hesitate to destroy you. You are shameful, wicked thing that my worthless daughter should have smothered rather than let live." Her gaze lingered on us for a couple more moments and then with a flash of her white teeth she stepped back into the shadows and vanished.

  Jessica rose out of me like a spirit and I immediately fell to my knees. My vision tunnelled into white dots, dimmed, and then winked out. I hung my head in sadness. I was blind and mute again. "Daddy!"  Jessica screamed from the second floor. I bolted up the stairs and let myself into her room. I heard the cupboard doors crash open and then Jessica was in my arms.

  "I'm sorry!" she sobbed. "I shouldn’t have taken over like that but I was just so mad at her. I needed to do something."

  I disentangled her arms from me. It’s all right. It’s all right. I’m not mad.

  “You're not scared of what I can do?"

  I thought about that for a moment. No, I don't think so. Surprised, yes. Your mother had power but she never did anything that powerful. I fought with my own emotions for a moment. How...did you do it Jess?

   "I..." I could hear hesitation in her voice. "I let you borrow mine."

  I gripped her shoulders.  Does that mean you were...? 

  She nodded. "Blind and mute up here…yes...while I was…”

  Possessing me, I finished. I wasn’t sure how I felt about all of this. A silence fell between us. Jessica curled a hand around the base of my neck. “I could do it again,” she said into my ear. “Think about it, Dad. You could see what I look like. Wouldn’t that be great? I could put on my prettiest dress and…and do up my hair…”

  I put a finger against her lips. My answer is no.

  “No?” Her voice wobbled in disappointment. “But why? I want you to see me!”

  I cupped her chin in my hands. I’m not broken, Jessica. I don’t need you to fix me. I trailed my fingers down her face. I could feel her cheeks were wet with tears. I know exactly what you look like. I don’t need eyes to be able to see you.

  Her bottom lip trembled. “All right.”

  I pulled her close to me and held her tight. I rubbed my cheek against the top of her silky head of hair and let some tear drops fall.

  “Dad?” Her hands tangled themselves in my shirt. “What was my mother? Where did she come from?” I don’t know, I admitted. At the time I thought she was just a girl, different like me, telepathic, but still just a girl. I wish I had more answers for you. I struggled with anger for a moment. I felt the wet peck of Jessica’s lips touch my cheek.

  “It’s okay,” she said. “I don’t need to know anything more.”

  Yes, you do, I thought. Neither one of us said another word. In the morning we had packed our bags and left our house never to return.

  ###

  About the author:

  Marisa Quinn-Haisu lives in Australia and is currently studying a Bachelor of Writing at Edith Cowan University. Her interests include reading, writing, playing Nintendo games, and collecting Sailor Moon figurines.

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